I'll paint in down in black and white,


I love you


And thats all that really matters to me.

jss & ling

wants.

Havaianas heels
Volcom Jacket
Apple Powerbook
a Bike Ride!!!
Shoppin' Spree in HK
3s come knit skirt
More Ca$h
Loss Weight
YOU

gone and going

sweet-babypea.livejournal.com

Finally, no more cramping of info into my puny bird brain & spending practically the whole day at the library growing the size of my ass. Alas! free at last : )

Sigh.. beneath all that happiness lies a really raging bitch waiting to flare out at everything thats pissing her off right now. Like my lap top is running at god knows how slow that my sentences are lagging by almost 10 secondas after i type them out. How i am feeling? Its like a small kid all excited upon hearing the rings of the ice cream man. And the not so happy ending, she drops her precious cone on the ground. Freaking everything is really pissing the hell out of me.

Alright picture this, me speaking on behalf of my younger brother to my dad, telling him how ej should be given the opportunity like alll other children, or rather little boys, to play computer games & have his time on the computer. And even coming to an agreement on his behalf, entitling his to play time on the com after his paper tomorrow.. & me feeling al satisfied and proud of myself as a sister. Then! i decided to treat myself to one eps of One Tree Hill before retreating to bed for my well deserved rest. Only to find out that my younger brother kind of screwed up the computer by inserting some floppy disk w virus into the computer. CAUSING THE FUCKING HARD DISK TO CRASH. so now,m we are pathetically reduced to my darn slow laptop & my parents' room com. the demon in me is like a time bomb waiting to explode. erks.

and moving on the more upsetting turnpoint of the whole night. Deja vu. I've felt this disturbing 6th sense before. The feelings & situation are almost identical. My 6th sense feelings after "this thing happened" was exactly like before. Amidst those smiles and assurance, i know something is wrong. Despite all your counter arguments and debating. Some thing in me is just telling me that aint the way things are. Something is amiss. I know a part of the story was altered and made up. How do i know. The look in your eye and actions gave you away. So clearly. I wished,sometimes, that i was naive and gullible in such situations. Somehow, hearingonly the good things really makes one life easier & stress free. We've both sinned & made mistakes. We have hurt each other by carrying out insensitive actions that we both wished we could just take back if only we could turn back time. ( Well, thats how i feel on my part.) Knowing that hiding innocent actions would only lead to misunderstandings and accusations. The foundation of trust already brittle and in nedd of strong reinforcements. Just tell me .. THE TRUTH. my heart aint made out of rock. like the titiantic, even the unsinkable will eventually sink.

Sentosa getaway tomorrow & the day after. i can't wait to getaway from everything. just the beach, the luge, the food, the sunset sunrise, darling & my family! But at the same time, im kinda freaking out that i haven't really studied for my tests next week. The concentration level is just not there and i can't resist the shows on Cable TV. its was never a good idea to change my studying method[ Studying at home instead of the library]. Distractions are killers and not to mention, the weight that I've put on from all the junk food. : (

I guess its never kills to 'fail' once in awhile. Its the falls that motivates you to work even harder the next time right? It better be! I've been consoling myself over the whole not-studying-at-all fact. Because.. its the holidays & holidays are meant for pure playing & enjoying.. not.. mugging and sticking your stinky heads into god-damned notes. : )

I baked blueberry muffins for tmr: ) It smells good & that couldn't stop me from eating one already. Uh huh, talking about losing weigh! Alright, gonna meet the boy in a while to hang out & grab more ingredients to bake more muffins for tmr [ Currently, there's pathetically enough muffins go around ONCE. 5 muffins?]

+ eight! I can't wait! I've already given in to temptation, peeping into the yellow paper bag from rachel & korkor :] I see Paul Frank!

Sidetrack a lil bit, i haven't been sleeping well lately. Though i sleep in till really late everyday & i get my more-than-enough 8 hours of sleep daily. Im haunted by nasty nightmares. Yea, its only a dream and it doesn't necessarily mean something. But, these dreams are affecting my mood, making me thing too deeply into issues & screwing up my days : ( Whatever, die bitches!

i have drained my bank account to a really pathetic state. And mind you, i haven't shopped or spent much recently [besides the pants from river island i got a week back].
So i have not worked for months but my dad still assumes I'm loaded enough to pay my OWN BILLS.
Sometimes, i wonder if they do care if i enough money to live on.
So yea, they keep going on about being more careful with our spending since they've spent quite a bit on my brother's education. But look at all the shopping my mom have been enjoying.
So I'm practically paying almost all of my own expenses; my hp bills, necessities [ shampoo, conditioner, blah] I'm so sick of this whole bill hp bill shit.
i guess this household is really UNFAIR. i guess i should start saving up to fund my own education. cause they'll probably assume that i have enough to feed, educate, survive on myself.

good luck bitch, welcome to poverty

I've lose practically all the motivation needed to study for my MST. nothing seems to be going in.
If that's the case, i might as well use the time wasted watching S3 of One Tree Hill ya?
Yoga-ed & Ab worked out today.
Darl's sweet talking and cheering up got rid of my foul mood : )
So right now,
I'm the princess & will be getting the princess treatment for i-don't-know-how-long-my-birthday-lasts (Forever? ) He's such a sweet heart, wanting to bring me out for shopping sprees, paint my wall, indulgence treatments. Whoa : ) However, i won't money-suck him. i guess the gigolo is all that i really need right now!
♥ de Grouch

i don't understand why people have to be so harsh with their tone, words & even SMSes. I mean, its not like I'm a really bad kid that i deserve such harsh treatments from people right? Don't point false accusations at me, I'm just making a general statement. Another thing, why does my BD teacher have to be such a retarded & weird person. I don't wish to repeat my story for the umpteen time again. He's just so strange man.

Anyway. Darling & I had got into some quarrel over the whole you-didn't-bother-to-msn/call-me-until-you-finished-school, you-didn't-bother-to-call-me-after-work-and-tell-me-the-plan, you-don't-put-in-effort-in-searching and you-dont-understand hu-ha drama just now. Gosh, even we act like childish pity kids at times too. I'm just upset over the fact that he misplaced and lost his ring ON our anniversary. On all days... it had to be that day. And now, its gone forever, its somewhere but we don't know where. We searched high and low but to no avail : ( . [Well does 30 mins of searching my house amount to intensive searching? : ( ] Things got much better after he brought me out for desserts at Cafe Cartel @ Siglap. 50% over cakes. Yummy. But just a little too much. Suffering a sugar hangover now. Cartel Special latte was not bad, just a wee bit too sweet to compliment our cakes.

Corporate Finance was a major disappointment. Investment cleared. CRAA & BD up next. Oh boy, Tell me when all these assignments ever end.


On a lighter notes, we managed to rip One Tree Hill : ) There's really a season 3 but Gramophone doesn't have it! And season 5 & 6 of Gilmore Girls too. This sucks, they should really update their rental range.

Snapshots
Picnic on our anniversary. We actually made those food our self & it tasted yummilicious : )
Sentosa



Car Exhibition @ Millenia. I see the kid in him : )

the weekend is finally here and may i start thinking of what to do besides projects and more projects? This whole project crisis is really testing my endurance. Pushing my body beyond its limits, and testing how long can a person survive on minimal sleep and a 9.9 magnitude of stress overload. Sleeping an average of 3-4 hours on a daily basics is not funny. the tiredness is compiling and starting to affect my mood, my appetite, my skin.. practically everything of me. I can't think of one recent day when i don't have those pumping headaches and those eye bags are really bothering me. Why does my body have to be so dependent on my sleep.

my body's suffering from symptoms of withdrawal from the whole e-learning week aka. holiday, the sun, sentosa, gilmore girls and a whole lot more. i need a good mani and pedi to pamper my poor self. i want to go shopping & be able to find something that's extremely nice and affordable. the whole gss thing is such a big turn off cause the stores are all looking like factory outlets, with clothings messed up in a pile. items that i fall in love in really aren't in favour of my current financial situation. my lap top's dying, lets just assume that its already dead cause its so slow and it take snail years to load. im yearning for a new laptop. one that's sleek and stylish! i love bimbotic goods cause they are just so nice to look at. but no, i want one that's have good specs as well. oh boy, i have really high expectations of everything and a really really empty wallet! : (

Anyway, darling and i are really into One Tree Hill. Oh gosh, i love such shows. They really blow me off my feet and sweep me into another land. haha a rather dramatic and interesting one.

I have a pile of work waiting for me to start on. Please please come the day when all project submissions and mst are over. When that day comes, i can finally get half my life back. : ) More slacking at home watching dvds. more body pampering sessions. more sleep. more making out sessions. more time to spend with him. more time to shop. and finally... time to finally finish what i left half done.

this lack of sleep is really taking a toll on me. my headspins. i get really bad headaches. and to sum up the misery, i was so tired that i actually fell asleep during Shrek 3. i felt like banging my head against the wall when i woke up only to see the credits rolling. Project works aren't going so well. im really looking forward for everything to end. damned investment and craa project. mst. the following 6 wks after that. [the holiday after thats cool. i need a good break] & lastly for my whole poly life to end. 1.5 more semesters. geez. its taking forever to come.

investment projs stealing my sleep for tonight. no sleep. no nothing. pure punching of numbers into my calculator. this is life. life really does sucks at times like these.

good night world. sleep away while i deal with damn numbers

http://starblog.stomp.com.sg/Index.aspx?Type=view&bid=349#

late nights and much anticipations, all wasted.

V Day was bad. probably the worst ever.

and...

Im not exactly the happiest girl in the whole wide world.

whatever

gawd. lets so absofuckinlutely pop more pills, burn and die. nothing/one's showing pity on my pitiable soul. why why tell me. im doing the same things. doing it 'right', but no never purrfect. lets dread life. pray time would fly by tmr. minus the pain. the mental torture. the deafening sound in my mind. tell me tmr's the last.



mixed feelings about my LAST day of y2. miss my girls. some nasi bryani loving. yummilious teas ...etc... dear god, bless my soul for itp. zoom me across to term breaks once again.

hmm its only 2mths. it'll pass. i'll be fine. yeaa right.

Grant me this sweet escape to fantasy land.

i dont get the rationale for doing a stupid journal for my astro. hmm in the first place, why study about this nonsense. it makes no sense at all.. 7 more weeks of journal to go. Oh gawd!

I hate doing many things. i hate asking my parents for money. As if asking for transport and school money had to be begged for. i cant wait to get a job, earn money that i can call my own, then get a house, move out of this place and hopefully this fucked up feelings i've been habouring for past few months will go away. Whats family for? One where everythings has to be so formal and restricted? One where even using a pimple cream required permission for? If that's so, i should have been screaming ( lead by examples) at my brother for using my contacts solution, at my mum for using my belts. Why make life so rigid and hard to live by. One may be calculative and selfish but there are times when and people to whom exceptions should be made to. It makes no sense. This family makes no sense. Dont get me wrong. i love my brothers. I wont trade any other brothers for them. Sigh. tell me why.

darling sweet pea : )

Festive seasons are OVERR and here comes the rushing of projs after projs : ( initally started on a 2007 resolution sheet but its half done and i misplaced the file on my com. 2006 ended off beautifully.. meet up with my fav class, 6B, lunch and shopping with besties. Endless proj meet ups with ade and hui. WHENS OUR DIM SUM.

THE LAST PIC IS IRRITATING THE HELL OUT OF ME. =( why cant i take something. just STM!

long weekends are just pure love. time out. fats shed. coffee making. senile chats with na & baby. & double pay!


i guess we need a break from work. its exhausting, irritating, nail wreaking & problem causing. Maybe not all the time, but at times. life has been going really good. Time is mostly spent with baby, hitting the gym, snuggling and spending quality time together, being a coffee maker, wandering around aimlessly in town, shopping at vivo, movies at cathay & TD! though school has started for almost a month, the holiday mood still lingers around. Last sem notes are still shattered everywhere and ive yet to do something about the thick pile of my CURRENT notes. What a sty. Yes its bad. Wednesdays are officially declared holidays for me, so spring cleaning tmr morn, lunch with baby and shopping. my nails are in urgent need of a good pampering manicure and pedicure session. my hair screaming for more 140 bucks treatments and a long dued haircut. my waredobe is seeking for new clothes. and i need a tann dammit.


gd night

time check. 7.48am and i have no idea why im ditching my sweet dreams to come online. dammit. wasted efforts of waking up at 630. taking god-knows-how-long to find the digicam cable upload the 'extraordinary' shots. and now contemptating whether to attend photography class is at 8.

Anyway, vivo city is nice. having more shopping centres is nice: ) i likee

every promise is just a lie




Goodbye to this fucked up world

i guess it took me 3 days to comfirm my thoughts. 'Action speaks louder than words'. God dammit, history repeats itself.


Ignorance is a bliss


Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me
And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. TICK
Who calls you back when you hang up on him. CROSS XX
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. CROSS
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. TICK
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. ??
Who holds your hand in front of his friends. TICK
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. ?? if he really do care, he would have called. CROSSS
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her." CROSS i know u swear about me in front of haider teletubby :)

Swing out time.








<3

Today, Missy decided to ditch lessons [that had to have 4 hrs of break inbtwn. with only 3 hrs of sch], travel to the other end of the island to have her nails perfectly manicured [ blood red in anticipation of our nation's bday], do some random window shopping with her chua-tan-ang-lin ladies and then crash the library to start on my over piling load of report and presentation slides.

keep popping in maltesers and strawberry lakerols.. some lonely mundane syndrome.

i need some sleep. dehydrated and exhausted. gimme a break! ugss

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Its such a pity that the world has to be filled with liars, hypocrites and copycats. Dont bother, its a childish world we're talking about.

Im stressed out. help me out by giving me 48 hours a day. arugh.

on a lighter note, im really excited and looking forward to gym for the next few weeks. dad, rach, darling, auntie tiang will be coming down too! And.... Sheena's joining planet fittness! lets work those flabby abs my dear. : ) she's a joy to my life. peng's an angel too : ) i love u besties! Anyway, sheena and i can start drooling over Julian Hee while gyming. He goes to my gym and na claims he's an abosolute eye candy. HAHA. darling should come down, u would be my no.1 eye candy. okei im taking rubbish now.

its a junk yard. i cant find my tutorials.







My lollipop : )
i love you baby. thanks for talking me out of those stressful nights and cranky spells. my pillar of support. " come here monster!!"






Jacket from dad : )

When we're happy with each other, we talk. When we're not, we just ignore. Is love like this?
Just last week i organized a surprise for you, and everything was just so sweet, smooth; n perfect. During the night, unforgetable words/phrases flew out from you; "You're so sweet","Why are you so sweet","No one has ever done this for me before", and ofcourse"I love you". But now i'm utterly disappointed. Within a week we have became so cold towards each other? Well, you thought what you did was right. But you'll never know the hurt inflicted on me. Its just you and me, why complain to a third party? You could have handled me yourself. Did i ever say stuff to your parents before? NO, because its wrong. You even said if i had told them, you'd hate me. So why do it to me? If i were to steal again, just report me to e police and tell me dats ur way of caring.

I'm always thinking abt you. n i love you, truely.

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